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A Network Decision

Since I moved to Evanston in September, my social network has greatly changed. I’ve lost contact with many of my old friends, but have been adding new ones through work, school, and church. I love hanging out with all my new friends and strengthening our relationships with one another.

However, I recently had an old friend from my previous church contact me on Facebook. I hadn’t communicated with him in over 6 months and he wanted to meet for dinner. My initial reaction was to say no based on what I had just learned in class that day. We learned about Dunbar’s Number and how the average human is only able to comfortably maintain 150 socially stable relationships. I really like my old friend and enjoy spending time with him, but was this relationship valuable enough to maintain? Wouldn’t it be better to eat dinner with one or more of my new friends?

After meditating on this, I decided that it is absolutely worth it to meet up with my old friend. Dunbar’s Number is not a law and it shouldn’t guide my decision in how many friendships I can have. This old friend is a great human being and the kind of person I want to spend time with.

Also, I do believe it is possible to build strong friendships that can last a lifetime. Even if I haven’t spoken with a friend for years and they are not part of the ~150 relationships I am currently maintaining, I can still call them to catch up because we previously established a strong relationship with one another.

As cheesy as it is, I had to smile when one of my new friends told me this nursery rhyme: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.” I hope you all take the time today to meet someone new or call an old buddy because you can never have enough friends.